Sunlight when the Moon Shines

lavenderlines:

rakalak:

abbyjean:

meloukhia:

Let me tell you how aware I am of breast cancer.

Among the many toxic legacies I inherited from my mother’s family is variant BRCA1 and BRCA2. It’s waiting. In every cell. Coiled. Patient. Someday it may strike. Or it may not.

I am pretty fucking aware of breast cancer. I’m also pretty fucking aware of cancer in general. But most particularly, breast cancer. Several of the women on that side of the family do not have breasts because the dragon awoke, the “variant” uncoiled and knocked on the door.

I think about this, in the shower. Does something look different? Is this maybe a little crepey? Do I remember that lump being there? I think about this when I put on a bra. Did this always fit this way? Is that sore spot a tumor eating through my flesh and waiting to explode? Did the underwire always dig in at this angle? I think about this when I pull a sweater over my head. This asymmetry, has it always been like that? Is it just my imagination, or does my left breast not look quite right?

I don’t need to be made more aware of fucking breast cancer.

I need breast cancer to go. Away.

These “awareness” campaigns have nothing to do with actually benefiting people who experience things like breast cancer. In fact, they actively exclude breast cancer survivors (“what colour bra do you wear, hurr hurr hurr” “none, I have a double mastectomy and chose to forgo reconstruction, you asshole”). They actively exclude people like me.

Fuck awareness. Everyone’s already aware.

It’s time for some action.

Instead of making this about how much dudes love breasts, let’s make this about the fact that 20% of women diagnosed with breast cancer end up being left by their partners. Instead of making this about “did you know you should do a monthly breast self-exam?”, let’s make this about “here’s what actual people with breast cancer could actually use some help with, right now.” Instead of making this about putting fucking pink ribbons on your blog, why don’t we make this about providing people with constructive information about actions they can take (at their own level of ability).

I’m already aware, thanks. We’re all aware. The question is not whether or not people are aware enough.

this makes me ashamed of passing on that bra thing…